Ron
So, I'm supposed to play Ponch's brother though I think I look more like the other guy and then I'm going to be on this show, "Mork and Mindy" with some comedian named Robin Williams.
Champ
Do you think-
Ron
I'm not done talking.
Champ
Sorry.
Ron
And then I'm doing "The Muppet Show" where I sing a song with Miss Piggy.
(beat)
Now, you may speak Champ.
Champ
Do you think you can get me a part on any of these shows?
Ron
I'd love to but, seriously, you are not an attractive man.
Champ
(accepting)
That's true.
Ron
They only put amazingly handsome gentlemen like myself. If anyone here could get a part, it would be Brian but that would be stretching it as he's only eighty percent amazingly handsome.
Brian
(upbeat)
Thanks, Ron.
Ron
Don't mention it.
Brick
My mom says I'm handsome.
Ron
Amazingly handsome?
Brick
(dejected)
No, just regular handsome.
Ron
Look, guys, if I get my own show, I promise to have each of you on it in small parts or cast really great looking people in the parts you were supposed to get but have your names in the credits instead of theirs.
Brian
That doesn't sound like a good deal.
Ron
It's a limited time offer.
Brian
How could it-
Champ
(leans in to Brian)
I think we should take it.
Brick
(leans in to Brian and Champ)
Me too.
Brian
Fine, we'll take it.
Ron
Great. Now, leave my office. I need to get some sleep.
Champ, Brian, and Brick stand up to exit.
Brian
The news starts in twenty minutes.
Ron
Then wake me in fifteen. How hard is this? That's it. Brick's part played by someone else is going to be bigger than yours.
Brian
But-
Ron
Champ's too.
Brian
Crap.
Ron
And when you wake me, I like three taps on the shoulder. I can't stand shaking. That is all.
Champ, Brian, and Brick leave Ron's office. Ron takes out two cucumber slices and puts them on his eyes and then leans back in his chair.
1 comment:
no, just regular handsome... priceless.
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