Idea #76

Ron won the face off with Wes (see Idea #75) and is back at the news team feud station.

Richard Dawson

Ron, who are these people you're playing with for those people who don't know you?

Ron

You mean the ones living under a rock?

(chuckles)

This is Brian. He's our man on the street and our best dresser next to yours truly. Next, we have Champ Kind, our sports guy and resident crazy person. Every office has one. Right, Dawson?

Richard Dawson

Sure, Ron.

Ron

And, finally, Brick Tamland. Brick is our weatherman and he's special like you and me.

Richard Dawson

Great. Let's keep this going with Brian. Brian, name something that comes in pairs.

(in repeat voice)

Something that comes in pairs.

Brian

Shoes.

Channel Four News Team

Good answer! Great answer!

Brick

I have shoes.

Richard Dawson

Shoes do come in pairs. Show me "shoes."

It shows the board with four possible answers. After a pause, the number two answer plate flips to show "SHOES          28." Ron and the gang clap.

Richard Dawson

Champ. Something that comes in pairs.

Champ

Handcuffs.

Richard Dawson

Handcuffs?

Champ

There's one for each wrist.

Richard Dawson

Ok. Show me "handcuffs."

It shows the board with three possible answers. After a short pause a buzzer sounds and a red "X" appears for the viewing audience.

Richard Dawson

That's ok. You're allowed two wrong answers.

(beat)

Brick.

Brick

I'm ready to play this game.

Richard Dawson

Good, Brick. Name something that comes in pairs.

Brick

Slacks.

Channel Four News Team

Good answer!

Richard Dawson

A pair of slacks!

It shows the board with three possible answers. After a pause, the number three answer plate flips to show "PANTS         12." Ron and the gang clap.

Richard Dawson

Ron, we are back to you. Two answers left on the board. You have one strike.

Ron

Yeah, because Champ gets arrested every week.

Champ

It's a problem I'm dealing with.

Richard Dawson

Ok, guys. Ron, name something that comes in pairs.

Ron

Twins. Blondes, brunettes, doesn't matter to me.

Richard Dawson

Ok. Double your pleasure, double your fun. Show me "twins."

It shows the board with two possible answers. After a pause, the number five answer plate flips to show "TWINS               5." Ron and the gang clap.

Ron

Super duper!

Richard Dawson

One answer left. Brian. Pairs. Something.

Brian

I'm blanking.

Richard Dawson

Three seconds.

Brian

Uhhhh.

After a short pause a buzzer sounds and a red "X" appears for the viewing audience.

Brian

Damn.

Richard Dawson

Channel Nine, be ready to steal.

(beat)

Ok, Champ. One answer left on the board. No strikes left.

Ron

Don't fuck this up.

Richard Dawson

Ron, language.

(to producers)

Can we bleep that?

Ron

Champ, you better get this. I'll have Harken fire you.

Richard Dawson

Ron!

(beat)

Champ, something that comes in pairs.

Ron

I'm going to kick you in a pair.

Champ

Ok.

Ron

I'm going to sneak into your house late at night dressed all in black and strangle you. On my hands, I'm going to wear-

Champ

Gloves!

Richard Dawson

Gloves? Show me "gloves."

It shows the board with one possible answer. After a pause, the number four answer plate flips to show "GLOVES          9." Ron and the gang jump up and down together.

Ron

(to Champ)

You get to live! Hooray!

Richard Dawson

When we come back, the point values are doubled. Stick around.