Ron
Didn't you beat him to it? I thought your heart was artificial or is that missing?
Veronica
Really? We've been divorced for two years. You're still going to do this on live TV like all the other fights?
Ron
That hurt doesn't go away.
Veronica
You cheated on me!
Ron
But she was eighteen which is so young, it shouldn't count and it was in the first three months of marriage which is universally known as the "open period."
Veronica
So, I could have been with another man in the first three months and you would have been ok with it?
Ron
(hesitates)
Sure.
Veronica
That's a relief. I've been feeling guilty.
Ron
(confused)
Why would you be feeling-
(realizing)
You didn't!
Veronica
I did!
Ron
Sweet Moses Malone! You two-timing whore!
Veronica
Wow, I feel much better now. I've been holding that in too long.
Ron
Who was it?
Veronica
I doesn't matter.
Ron
Then I know him.
Veronica
You do. He was a gentle lover and he made me feel special.
Ron
Who was it?
Veronica
Garth.
Ron
Garth? Like Weird Beard Garth?
(laughs)
That doesn't count.
Veronica
You know, you should ask him for some advice. You could learn a lot from him.
Ron
Are you saying he's better in bed than me?
Veronica
Yes. Coming up, what other fruit can keep the doctor away? You'll need to know with the upcoming apple shortage. Right after this.
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