Idea #94

Ron guest stars on "The Muppet Show." The scene opens with Ron Burgundy in a leather jacket sitting on some bleachers. He is surrounded by Fozzie, Gonzo, and Rizzo the Rat.

Gonzo

Hey, I wanna hear about what Ron did at the beach.

All

Yeah!

Ron

It was nothin'.

Fozzie

(sarcastic)

Sure, nothin' Burgundy. Right.

Rizzo

C'mon, Ron.

Gonzo

C'mon. Tell us about the girl.

Cut to a scene at a lunch table with Miss Piggy surrounded by Camilla, Olivia Newton-John, and Janice.

Janice

What did you do this summer, Miss Piggy?

Miss Piggy

I spent most of it at the beach. I met a human.

Olivia Newton-John

You went all the way to the beach for some human?

Miss Piggy

This human was special.

Olivia Newton-John

There ain't no such thing. I should know.

Miss Piggy

He was really romantic and he had a great mustache.

Cut back to Ron and the guys on the bleachers.

All

C'mon, man. Tell us.

Ron

Oh, boys, the snout on this girl. But you don't want to hear about that.

Fozzie

Are you kidding me?

Ron

Alright, I'll tell you.

They break into a rousing rendition of "Summer Love" replacing every "girl" with "pig" and every "boy" with "human." We pick up with the last verse. Ron and Miss Piggy have their backs to each other but are unaware of each other's presence. It's more for stage effect.

Miss Piggy

(singing)

It turned colder, that's where it ends

Ron

(singing)

So, I told her, we'd still be friends

Miss Piggy

(singing)

Then we made, our true love vow

Ron

(singing)

She was a pig, the size of a cow

Both

(singing)

Summer breeze between two species but, oh, those summer nights

All

Tell me more, tell me more

Ron and Miss Piggy look sad as the girls and guys look on. The screen fades to black.