Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Idea #39

The rain from the hurricane is coming down hard (see Idea #7). Flooding has begun and the winds are topping eighty miles per hour. A state of emergency has been declared by the Governor of California asking everyone to stay where they are. With the news being interrupted by the Emergency Broadcast System, there's only one thing to do...party, Channel 4 News-style.

Ron is standing next to a partially decorated Christmas tree holding a beverage. Garth Holladay walks up to him nervously.

Ron
(shouting off camera)
I want all the Christmas lights hooked up! I want this place to look jolly!

Garth
Uh, Ron. The Governor is asking us to conserve power.

Ron
Garth, that's nonsense. I'm trying to boost morale. Don't you want good spirits?
(raising his glass)
In more ways than one.

Garth
But when the power goes out-

Ron
Garth, it won't. Now, shut up and have a drink.

Garth
Ron, with Ed not here, I'm in charge and I'm going to have t-to insist that you stop wasting electricity.

Ron puts his hand on Garth's shoulder.

Ron
Is that what you really want?

Garth
It is.

Ron
Ok.
(beat)
Champ!

Garth
What's he gon-

We fade to black and come back to see Garth wearing a Santa hat. The camera pans down to show him tied to a support beam using Christmas lights that are lit. Ron walks up to him holding a drink with a straw. There is lots of partying and laughing going on in the background. Music is playing over the news speakers.

Ron
Sorry about that but you were pooping on the party. Have a sip.

Ron puts the straw up to his lips. Garth takes a sip.

Garth
God, what is that? It burns.

Ron
I know. One of the camermen made this in the ladies bathroom sink. It's awful but I feel bad not drinking it. He tried so hard.
(beat)
Now, as you can see, everyone is happy and we are just going to ride out the storm here in one big celebration. There was no need to worry about losing pow-

There is a loud thunder clap. The building shakes and the lights go out. There is screaming.

Ron
EVERYBODY PANIC! OH GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

No comments: