Monday, July 7, 2008
With the backup generators on and few injuries as a result of the panic (see Idea #39), Ron restores order. He stands on top of the news desk and a crowd gathers around. Garth is still tethered with Christmas lights to the support beam.
Everyone, it looks like Tom from accounting is going to be ok. He's going to need Rabies shots since we don't know where some of you have been.
(back to serious)
But seriously, he's going to need stitches on some of those bite marks so hopefully we can get in touch with a doctor soon. Cannibalism after six minutes? That has to be some kind of record. You know who you are. I can see your not proud faces from here. Ok, Ed Harken is not here today so that means, as Anchorman, I'm in charge.
Shut up, Garth! We have to remain calm! We don't have time to fight over who's in charge! Champ.
Champ walks over to Garth and attempts to stuff a rag in his mouth. Garth resists. Champ slaps his face but he keeps his mouth taut. Champ pinches the nostrils. Garth eventually gives in and Champ stuffs the rag in his mouth. Champ turns around and gives Ron the thumbs up. Ron nods.
As you can see, my regime works fast and without hesitation. Who knows how long this hurricane will last?
Last I heard before the power outage, Channel Nine news said five days. And there's enough food in the cafeteria for about ten.
Wait. Wait. There's food in the cafeteria and we tried to eat Tom? And did you say Channel Nine news? We don't get our news from Mantooth's team. What does Brick say? Brick?
Brick appears from the back.
Brick, what are you doing in the back? You're a major character.
Brick, when's the hurricane going to be done?
What's a hurricane?
The storm, Brick.
Oh. A while.
A while like five days?
How long's a day?
Ok, I'm sure it will pass soon. Brian, you're in charge of rationing the cafeteria food. Champ, make sure Garth has a fresh rag in his mouth every twelve hours. Everyone else, don't eat each other. We're going to get through this people.