Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Idea #50

Found on Brick's desk with a paper-clipped note reading "Don't Read. Only Brick." was a file stating the following:

CONFIDENTIAL: National Security Agency (NSA)

July 10, 1976

United States Department of Defense Case # 27425

RE: Twelve casualties at a celebrity golf tournament held in San Diego, California

Special Agent Tamland (Code Name "The Deluge") was inadvertantly triggered by one of the celebrity golfers. Tamland is the second operative trained as part of Project Weatherman. Project Weatherman takes vapid meteorologists and, through hypnosis and intense combat training, creates a super agent controllable by a series of trigger words. The trigger words were picked from a list of uncommon English words and obscure international cities.

The incident took place on the 14th tee. Tamland had just completed his swing. The trigger word was "Chalcis" which is a city in ancient Syria. There is one mention of the city in Homer's "Iliad" which until that day was unknown to the Project. Bruce Hume, a local newspaper columnist and victim of the incident, likes to read aloud Greek poetry after a successful tee shot. On the 14th hole, Hume hit his ball into the fairway. After Tamland hit, Hume read the passage:

"And looked just like the shrill mountain owl
Gods call Chalcis..."

With the trigger spoken, The Deluge was unleashed. Everyone who could identify Tamland was killed instantly as a result of the training. Tamland has been debriefed and believes everyone was struck by lightning. The DOD Cleanup Team arrived on the scene shortly after the incident to corroborate that explanation.

Until further notice, Project Weatherman will be shut down and new agents will not be trained.

1 comment:

Andrew said...

worst idea ever