Idea #48

Ron's fifth (and final) PSA pitch (see Idea #30):

Ron is sitting opposite Champ dressed as Planet Earth (again, see Idea #40). They are in an interview setting. Brian is off screen and operating the camera.

Brian (O.C.)

Rolling.

Champ

I don't see why I have to wear this stupid costume. I personally like littering. Didn't we already do one with this costume?

Ron

We paid a lot of money for that costume out of the studio's pockets, well Garth's-Regardless, we're going to get our money's worth. Brian, whenever you're ready.

Brian (O.C.)

We're recording.

Ron
Right now? Ok. Suck it up, Champ. Last one. And...

(composes)

Action. Hi, I'm Ron Burgundy and I have a very special guest in the studio today. A warm welcome to Planet Earth. Hello.

Earth Champ

Thanks for having me.

Ron

I brought you on today to talk about littering.

Earth Champ

(fake anger)

Argh!

Ron

I take it you don't like littering.

Earth Champ

I hate it! Do you know how many hurricanes it takes to clean up a single bag of garbage?

Ron

I don't.

Earth Champ

Eight.

Ron

Eight hurricanes for one bag of garbage? Seems high.

Earth Champ

Which one of us is the planet?

Ron
You.

Earth Champ

You think you can do it with less hurricanes?

Ron
I think we're getting off topic. The point is that it's a scientific fact that you, the Earth, make a natural disaster everytime someone litters. Is that safe to say?

Earth Champ

Yes.

Ron

So, let's say I drop a few cans of beer on the grass at lunch...

Earth Champ

Tsunami in Japan.

Ron
Really?

Earth Champ

Yup.

Ron

Well, you heard the Earth. If you don't want to be responsible for large scale murder, don't litter. This has been Ron Burgundy. I'd like to thank my guest, the Earth. Stay classy.

(pause, leans in to Champ)

Should we do it again but not with Japan? I feel like noone's going to care if they get hit. It's still pretty close to W.W. II.

Brian (O.C.)

Still rolling.

Ron

Dammit, Brian! Why didn't you cut after Stay clas-

The camera cuts to a still of Ron and Earth Champ shaking hands. The narrator speaks over the still.

Narrator

You can be good friends with the Earth, too. Don't litter.