Saturday, July 26, 2008

Idea #60

Ron has seen Veronica's new look (see Idea #51). It's the first day back at work and Ron has the guys in his office. 

Champ
Ron said it looked very nice.

Ron
No, I didn't.

Champ
My girlfriend Ron.

Brian
I'm sure it's not that b-

Veronica walks by outside the office wearing a professional woman's suit, sporting that crew cut hair style. Brian notices.

Brian
You have to dump that chick.

Brick
She looks like my cousin Jeff at Halloween.
(beat)
And every Thursday night at Feather's on Downy St.

Ron
I don't know what to do. I thought love could win out over anything but this?

Brian
She looks awful.

Champ
She still has all the right parts. Still got that full moon butt.

Ron
Yes, and that blouseful of happy sacks.
(beat)
I don't know.

Veronica walks into the doorway of Ron's office.

Veronica
Ron.

Ron
Veronica.

Veronica
I've decided to grow back my hair.

Ron pauses.

Ron
One moment.
(beat)
Men, huddle up.

The guys form a huddle while Veronica looks on annoyed.

Brian
That's great news.

Ron
It could be a trick.

Brian
What do you mean?

Ron
If I say, "Thank God, you really did look terrible and I wanted to leave you," she might get offended and do the girl thing where you can't say anything without getting her mad.

Champ
Just say what you feel. Who cares?

Brian
What are you going to do?

Ron
I think I got it.

They break the huddle.

Ron
Veronica, I think whatever you decide to do is super.

Veronica
(skeptical)
Really?

Ron
Y-yes.

Veronica
It is less work like this.

Ron
(on the verge of bursting)
Mmhmm.

Veronica
I'm so glad you had a change of heart. I'm keeping it, then.

Ron
Oh, God. Grow it back. I want my beautiful flower again. You look like a dandelion after it's been picked and blown.

Veronica
You don't love me.

Ron
I do love you, just with longer hair.

Veronica storms away.

Ron
That didn't go well.

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