Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Idea #32

Ron and Veronica go to their second session of couples therapy with Dr. Skinner (see Idea #27).

Dr. Skinner
Today, I'd like to focus on sacrifice. Every relationship requires some form of compromise. Ron, what would you like to see Veronica give up?

Ron
(playing an angle)
Nothing. I love everything Veronica does.

Dr. Skinner
Very supportive, Ron.

Ron
Thank you.

Dr. Skinner
Ok, Veronica, your turn. What would you like to see Ron stop doing?

Veronica
I'd like to see him stop drinking scotch.

Ron
What?!?

Dr. Skinner
Ron, let Veronica finish.

Veronica
You drink too much.

Ron
This is absurd. I did the nice thing and said you were perfect and-

Dr. Skinner
Are you saying you lied about not wanting to change things about Veronica?

Ron
I figured that if I said she shouldn't change anything, she would-

Dr. Skinner
Ron, this is about honesty.

Ron
I see that. Brutal honesty. I'm not giving up scotch.

Dr. Skinner
Relationships are about compromise.

Ron
I don't know what that word means. Is that even a real word?
(beat)
I have some things she could give up.

Veronica
Doctor, these aren't going to be real things.

Ron
Yes, they are.

Dr. Skinner
Ron, are these things you are about to say things you really want Veronica to change or just a reaction to Veronica wanting you to stop drinking?

Ron
I really want her to change these things.

Dr. Skinner
Ok, Ron.

Ron
I want her to stop being a huge bitch.

Veronica
I told you, Doctor.

Dr. Skinner
Ron, this is not constructive.

Ron
My back's against a wall here, Doc. I'm swinging my arms in self-defense. Give up scotch? Why don't I just stop breathing? You would love it if I stopped breathing, you harpy.

Ron crosses his arms and holds his breath.

Dr. Skinner
Ron, stop that. Breathe, Ron.

Ron violently shakes his head like a child. Ron eventually passes out.

No comments: