Thursday, June 19, 2008

Idea #27

Ron and Veronica go to couples therapy with Dr. Skinner.*

Dr. Skinner
Ron, why are you here?

Ron
Because she made me.

Dr. Skinner
Well, you came. That's a good first step. Tell me, Ron, what do you want to get out of this?

Ron
I want to go back to Pleasure Town.

Dr. Skinner
I'm sorry?

Ron
It's a magical place with unicorns and a sex rainbow. I want to go back there.

Veronica
It's always the sex rainbow. Give it up, Ron.

Ron
Shut up, you She-Desert.

Veronica
Doctor!?!

Dr. Skinner
Ron, why do you call her a She-Desert?

Ron
I have a thirst for her loins, Doctor. Can you blame me? But, no matter how I navigate or approach her body, she won't let me quench my thirst.

Dr. Skinner
That's very poetic, Ron.

Ron
Thank you. Plus, sometimes her legs feel like a cactus.

Veronica
This is ridiculous.

Ron
You're ridiculous!

Dr. Skinner
Veronica, this is a safe place. Ron should be allowed to express himself so we can see what he feels is the problem. From what I hear, it sounds like he misses the intimacy.

Ron
I do. Intimacy is sex, right?

Dr. Skinner
It can be. Maybe for next time, you can try some new things in the bedroom to spice things up.

Ron
Like butt intimacy?

Veronica
I'm driving home. You can walk.

Veronica gets up and storms out. Ron gets up and follows after her.

Ron
It was just a question. You're the one that wanted to come here.

*I envision the therapist as played by Andrew Daly who was amazing as the Tropics announcer in Semi-Pro.

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