Ron
Alright, gentlemen, I need to get back into top anchoring form.
"Eye of the Tiger" starts playing. The words "DAY ONE" appear at the lower left as Ron's head appears over a level surface like he's doing a pull-up. He takes his right hand off the surface and points off camera.
Ron
Over there!
Ron returns to below the level surface. The camera pulls back to show a news desk and Ron pulls himself up from behind it again.
Brian (O.C.)
Where's the news?
Ron
I don't see it!
Brian (O.C.)
Where's the news? Find it, Ron! Find it!
Ron
I don't see it!
(beat then pointing)
There! There!
Cut to Brick peeking out from behind the news camera holding cue cards. Cut to Champ high-fiving Ron.
Cut to Ron running with a microphone next to Brick wearing a gray wig, a dress, and crown. Brian and Champ ride next to them in a truck. Joggers are jumping out of the way.
Ron
Your highness! Queen Elizabeth! Queen Elizabeth! Ron Burgundy, Channel Four News! A few questions!
Brick
(in bad old lady British accent)
No, thank you. Just getting in my morning run.
Brian
Try harder!
Ron
Please, your highness! Just a moment of your time!
Brick
(in bad old lady British accent)
What is it?
Ron
How is your health?
Brian
Ask the tough questions!
Ron
What?!?
Brian
How is your health?!? That's a question a number two station asks! Do we want number two?!?
Ron
No!
(gathers breath)
Your highness, is it true that Prince Charles and Lady Di are having problems?
Brian
Good!
Ron doubles over and vomits.
Tune in tomorrow for Day Two.
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